I could feel the tears coming on. I tried to fight the urge to sob, because I was in the middle of the metro during rush hour. This is no place to have a water works show. But I was reading Why I Wore Lipstick to my Mastectomy, and it just hit me as hard and fast as the trains breezing past me on the platform. While doctors won’t be cutting off my boobs, they’re cutting them out. I’ll wake up from surgery with two large wounds where my rack used to be. What will it be like to wake up from surgery and look down to see them gone? Within weeks I’ll have them back. But they’ll never be quite the same. The thought of saying goodbye to my girls, especially in those last moments, is all too painful sometimes. The thought of all those scapels is even more painful.
When my cousin picked me up at the metro, the floodgate broke loose. Once in the car, I started sobbing so uncontrollably it was hard to catch my breath. “Maybe you need more time to think about all of this?” Mary finally asked me. I think that’s it though. I finally am thinking about it. The magnitude of my decision just caught me a little off-guard around page 52 of my book while riding the red line train to Shady Grove.
I mean, I’ve had one wisdom tooth removed, and that was the only time I’ve ever been under anesthesia. The first time I had my blood drawn was for the genetic test! In high school, I used to cry so hard after a flu shot that it made the nurses uncomfortable. “You’re my first patient to cry today,” said the pediatric nurse, who had just seen a whole slew of toddlers. Needles of any kind have never been my friend, let alone scapels. How can I be brave enough to have a total mastectomy?!
Then I kept thinking some more. I want the doctors to also remove my nipples because they carry a high risk of breast cancer just like my breast tissue. But what will be come of my nipples? Will the hospital just throw them away? I don’t want to keep them, because I can’t imagine anything more creepy, but I also can’t imagine them in the trash. Where will my old breasts go?
There will also be tubes stitched to my chest to collect fluid for a few days after my surgery. It’ll hurt to breathe. It’ll even hurt if someone sits on the bed. I’ll probably need a bed pan, because I can’t imagine scuffling anywhere, not even to a nearby restroom. While all of this amounts to nothing compared to battling breast cancer, it still scares me to think of the surgical details. Is there anyway I can teleport myself to the last reconstructive surgery when all of the pain, blood and “wound fluid” will be behind me?
Since my boobs are always on my mind, I’m noticing the little things that will change or won’t matter once I have the surgery. For one thing, I’ve always worn skin-tight sports bras when I run. In middle school, someone told me that if your boobs bounce around too much during exercise then they’ll sag like an old woman’s rack. I did not, by any means, want saggy boobs by the age of 30. So I thought I’d plan for the future and cut off a little circulation in order to keep my girls perky. I guess I can loosen up on that one now.
Ever night before bed, I religiously take three delicious gummy bear vitamins, a nasty-tasting iron supplement, and my vitamin D-3. I keep all three lined up in my medicine cabinet like artillery. After all, I’m fighting to keep my health. Vitamin D-3 is the one I never forget, because it’s known to promote breast health (among many, many other things). This is one of my new power tools. With each white supplement I take every night, I envision it arming my breast cells with the defense they needs to ward off the cancerous enemy. And my maximum strength vitamin D-3 is my body armor. But since I won’t have my old breasts for much longer, I guess I can chuck the armor out the window pretty soon.
I also find myself starring at women’s breasts a lot. Totally weird, I know! But I just can’t help it. My breasts won’t have quite the natural curve like other women’s breasts. AlloDerm will help a lot. But there will still be a difference, one that only I will probably notice. In the meantime, I’ve taken to studying the boobs I see on the bus, on the metro, in the bars, at the restaurants, and even in church. I look at small breasts, large breasts, medium-size breasts. Everywhere I notice what I will soon no longer have.
After my surgeries, my boobs will look better than they do now. But I also love my current breasts. I’m trying to pay them tribute the best I can until the scapel comes to take them away. I’ll still wear a bra to work, but I’ve decided to retire my bra to the dresser for most other occasions. I want to feel my breasts and my nipples against my shirt, I want to know that they’re there. After all, I won’t have sensation anymore after the surgery. Luckily, I’m only a C-cup, so they’re pretty manageable on their own. Although, my sincere apologies to my friends and family, you may see more than you want over the next few months. It’ll probably only get worse after my mastectomy. I plan on flashing all the women in my life, so they can see what a mastectomy looks like. You can’t say I didn’t warn you!
I also think it’s a sign that you’re talking too much about your mastectomy when your roommate dreams that she looses her nipples and has to get them reconstructed. Rachel said they looked great, but I think I need to ease up on the boob conversation at my house. I also need to spare every poor, unsuspecting stranger the news of my upcoming mastectomy. The man swipping my membership card at the gym looked a little shell-shocked. So did the cabbie. I need to practice better censuring, so I’ll try to limit most of my boob ramblings to this blog. Although, Rachel, I was relieved to hear that your new nipples in your dream looked great. But you have better things to dream about than breast reconstruction, my sincere apologies!

5 comments
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April 12, 2010 at 4:13 am
Teri Smieja
Hi there – I just wanted to try to alleviate some of your fears about your upcoming PBM – I’m about 9.5 weeks post op from mine, so can speak from experience.
First I’d like to say that it’s totally normal to feel the way you feel – many of us feel the same way prior to surgery. You are normal in that.
As far as what you said about your nipples, that’s not exactly true. I thought the same thing as you and was convinced that I wouldn’t keep my nipples. About 2 weeks prior to my surgery I changed my mind. As it turns out it’s actually pretty rare for breast cancer to form in the nipple, even among BRCA+ folks. My breast surgeon explained to me that unless you have Paget’s disease it’s not usually a concern. I went with the skin sparing, nipple sparing DIEP reconstruction. It’s been strange for me, because I never did have the experience of looking down to do nothing on my chest.. since I went with immediate reconstruction (even though it’s considered ‘immediate’ it’s still a process though, and typically at least 2 stages of surgery).
As for the bedpan – I’ve heard many other women with this same worry. I never used a bedpan. I had a catheter in the first day, then the next day I was up and moving around – slowly – but still – I was up and able to go to the restroom to do my business. You probably will be able to do that too.
Anyway, just wanted to share a lit bit with you to ease a few of your fears.
If you’re on facebook, maybe you can look up my group, the BRCA Sisterhood – there are a lot of women there that can really help to encourage you and help you with your fears.
Best of luck to you – plenty have traveled this path before you and come out the other end of it, and you can do it too. Hang tough!
Teri
April 14, 2010 at 4:11 am
claudiagilmore
Teri – thank you so, so much for sharing this with me!! The more women I speak with, the more I realize how popular nipple-sparing reconstruction is these days – sounds like the risk of breast cancer when you keep your nipples is pretty slim. I’m definitely revisiting the thought of keeping my nipples now and weighing my options again. This is such a big decision to make – it’s good to know you can change your mind as soon as 2 weeks out from surgery!! I may end up going back and forth every week until then! Have you had your expanders removed yet? Thank you again for being so open – your experiences have alleviated many of my fears – and I’m anxious to hear how the rest of your reconstruction and recovery goes! Have a safe trip to NYC tomorrow and a GREAT time with your new BRCA friends
xoxo, Claudia
April 14, 2010 at 4:52 am
Teri Smieja
Hey you! Yeah, I was pretty much dead set against keeping them, thinking if I was going to do this, then I wanted it all out & off – but when I started to research it more and found out that breast cancer in the nipple is rare, and then speaking with my breast surgeon, I decided to keep them. They also told me I could keep them through the first phase, and if I changed my mind later, I could have them removed during Stage 2 – it was hard to pass up a trial run, ya know? So I didn’t go the expander/implant route. I had the DIEP which used my tummy fat to reconstruct my breasts – if you’d like to see pictures just email me and let me know (terisblip@verizon.net). I’m still ‘under construction’ and have some ‘issues’ right now with symmetry and aesthetics but that all gets fixed during Stage 2.
Also, I’m so glad you joined the BRCA Sisterhood! You’ll soon see how great these other ladies are.
Thank you so much, for the well wishes, I’m so excited to have a girls weekend, it’s been YEARS!!
April 12, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Eli
Your surgery will be nothing like that seen on TV – you’re young and 22 and will be up and moving in no time. Pain meds do wonders!!
Also, I know it’s kinda creepy or weird, but have you thought about having someone take photos of your “girls” or even doing a mold of them. There are those pregnancy molds that people do of their bellies, I’m sure you could use the same thing but just for your boobs. Just a thought. A way to keep them around forever, but not.
April 14, 2010 at 4:04 am
claudiagilmore
Hey, Eli! Thank you so much for your note
I’ve been speaking with more and more women who have had the surgery, and they’ve said the same thing as you! When you wake up, you’re so drugged that you don’t know which end is up – thank goodness!!! One lady told me last night that they want you to get up and walk around almost as soon as you can – which is a huge relief, because the thought of sitting around also prompts some anxiety – I’m always on the move! And over Labor Day weekend, I’m flying back to Los Angeles so my old photography teacher from high school can do a shoot of me topless with my natural breasts – it’ll be a special way, like you said, to remember my natural form forever
Thanks again so much for following my posts and leaving such thoughtful comments – you’re the best!!